It's not like that
by Illyrya
Summary: In a confetion some of Danny's secreats come out secreats that his lover didn't know.


Disclaimer: CSI:NY belongs to CBS, they are not mine otherwise they be doing it like bunnies on the show.

A/N My first CSI fic be nice

Spoilers: For Tanglewood

Warning: mention of rape, slash, Au

**It's not like that**

The day had started fine, ok if Don was honest it had started better than fine after all any morning that he woke up with Danny's mouth around his dick had to be consider fantastic, wonderful, heavenly even, but he should had know better the week had been slow, to slow if you ask him and everybody was waiting for the other shoe to drop, and drop it did just not in the way any of them had been expecting. Of course he decided nobody except Danny could had prepare Mac and him for what Sonny Sassone had said in the interrogation room, then again maybe Danny wasn't expecting it either.

Early that Day

The case was like any other case or so Flack and Mac had thought really just a yopung kid trying to become gang member, maybe the initiation had go wrong maybe he had been killed by a rival gang, but that's what they were going to fine out now.

"So why did you killed the kid?" asked Flack

"Because he wasn't go enough" answer Sonny

"What he didn't tie his shoes right, or let me guess he didn't lear the hymn of the gang in time for the initiation" said Flack

"Initiation" said Sonny " No he wasn't a member he was a bitch, entertainment a commodity if you will"

"He was a human being" said Mac

"No he was my toy he did his job wrong he got killed, but you know somebody who's really good, and when your done with him I like him back"

Who are you talking about?" asked Mac

"Oh you know him" he said looking directly at Don " I bet the first time you took him, he maid no noise even thought he hadn't been with any man for a while and it had to hurt, or that when you take him from behind he goes limp beneath you like he's not really there, then again it was easier to pass him around when he was face down, or how he never says no, no mater what no mater where and you would never figure out that he didn't wanted to have sex because he always response, he knows better he know what happens when you don't, but I bet the thing you love the most are his wake up calls his mouth wrape around your dick every morning with out failing, and that the thing you hate the most is that he never relax when you hug him or cuddle with him he let you do it but is bot what he want" and looking away from Don and to the two way mirror were he knew Danny was standing said" is it Danny". And with that he sat down a smug look on his face enjoy the damage that he had cause.

Don sat in a shock state the last thing they would had expected to hear that day was what came out of Sonny's mouth but even as a part of his brain try to denied it another was telling him that it was true specially to Don because who Sonny had describe was Danny down to a t and now he was thinking that he was no better than Sonny that maybe Danny didn't want him but was scared of telling him no, he never notice when they took Sassone out of the room or when Mac left the room all he could hear was Sonny's words inside his head.

Mac was exiting the interrogation room when he collided with a pale and shaking Danny exiting the from the other room knowing that he had heard everything that had been said, and now that he took a good look at Danny the kid look ready to bolt, run away and hide in some hole were no one could fine him, it wouldn't have been the first time Danny did this but unlike last time Mac wasn't going to let him, not this time, not with this Claire would have killed him if her baby deal with this on his own and Don wouldn't be much help, not when he just got called a rapist even thought he knew better, but first to deal with Danny whom was turning around ready to go.

"Let's go" said Mac grabbing Danny by his writs noticing how he automatically flinch and try to pull back.

"What, where, Mac let me go"

"NO, and to answer your question as to where my house"

"Why"

"Do you really want to face Don right now"

"NO" and with that both men left

They drove in silence until Danny broke it close to his house.

"It wasn't like that"

"Excuse me"

" I wasn't trying to join them it was never my choice, you had to give something up in order to belong and my brother gave me up"

"I know"

"I tried to run but that just ended badly for me and for whomever replace me for the time I was gone, and that was all that kid was a replacement, so you see it's really all my fault that he's dead, and Don is going to be really mad, and I bet your just as mad as him but you're also disappointed and that hurts because I have been trying not to disappoint you but you'll have my resignation letter on your desk tomorrow morning. Maybe I should had never run away he was right you know I was really good at what I did he used to tell me all the time, maybe that's all I'm good at and this way everybody will be happy "

"Danny" yelled Mac trying to stop the rambling, the self-blaming and the self-hate

"Sorry"

"What?"

"I said I was sorry"

"OK, for what?' asked a really confused Mac

"For everything that happened today, for making you mad for... I don't know I'm just sorry and tired"

"Ok first of all nothing that happened today was you're fault as a matter of fact nothing that he made you do was you're fault Ok it was Sonny's and Sonny's alone Second..."

"No it wasn't I told you..."

"Yes, yes I know what you said but Danny hear me out just this once, nobody deserve to be treated like that, not even you on your must annoying day and believe me they are a lot, second no matter what he said or what he got you to believe what he did is called rape and it's wrong ok, I know you know this, and third you deserve to be here your a good CSI and even thought I don't say this a lot I'm proud of you and so was Claire and I'm sure she still is, and if I have been distant since her death I didn't meant to it just that she always saw you as the child we didn't have and for a wile it hurt to think about it so I distant myself from everybody specially from you and by the time I had stop being an idiot it was to late the damage had already been done but I still se you that way and I'm here if you need me.

And with that Danny Messer broke down and cried for the first time in a long time about his lost childhood .

Done had gone home to his apartment, he needed to think and was glad when he got there and there was no sing of Danny, oh don't get him wrong he isn't mad at the younger man, he just didn't know what he was going to do and as much as it pained him to admitted if he saw Danny right now thing would get ugly, and he didn't want that. It was close to midnight and he was no closer to answers he seek, but he was calmer and decided that it was time to talk to Danny, the only problem was that Danny had never come home, he pulled out his cell phone and realised that Mac had left him a TX message some time a go, he read it " Danny's with me Mac"

Well that answer his question and with that he left to Mac house. Even thought it was late he wasn't really surprise to se a light on inside the house nor was he surprise when Mac open the door an lead him without a word to the room were Danny was sleeping. He hates to wake him up but it has to be done

"Danny" he whispers and notice with a sad smile how the man immediately wake up.

"I'm sorry" and for the second time that night those two words brake a persons heart

"you're sorry Danny, baby I'm the one that's sorry for never noticing this things for making you do things you probably never wanted"

"No it's not like that Don I love you I really do and I'm happy with you and I don't mind what we do and it really doesn't mater as long as you're happy" finish Danny looking down at the bed.

And in that sentence Do got his answer yes Danny had done things he didn't want to but never complain because it make him fucking happy.

"Danny look at me please" when that didn't work he gently but firmly grab the other man's chin " I love you, I really do and just because you say no to something doesn't' mean that I'm going to leave you, or hurt you or anything else that he did, this is a relationship is about you and me, not about what Danny can do to make Don happy and stay with him, in the end your only hurting yourself and me"

"No I .."

"I know you don't see it that way but think about it, I mean really think about every time you do something that you don't want you're making me no better than him"

"I...I" stammer Danny

"I know Danny I know but you got to talk to me and set your boundaries and trust me I will respect them and if I don't hit over the head or kick me in the balls but Danny you got to stop hating your self and start seeing the wonderful man that we all see and that I love"

"I'll try, and really nothing that we do bothers me"

"Danny don't lie to me to make me feel better just promise me that your say no next time you don't want something "

"I can't promise that but I can promise to try"

"Ok that's good enough for me for know, c'mon let's go to sleep we'll talk more in the morning"

And with that Don lay down and pulled Danny's back to his chest and for the first time in their relationship Danny didn't tense and with a small smile on his face they fell asleep.

The End


End file.
